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  • Flight is for planes and birds.

    8 comments Published Dec 6, 23 PM
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    By Anna Guest-Jelley

    Flight is for planes and birds. I’ll stay here on the ground, thanks.

    Famous yoga teachers seem to come to my town quite a bit (or at least quite a bit compared to where I used to live, which was basically never). Whenever I find out one is coming, I get really excited to see what they’re going to be doing. Maybe they’ll talk about alignment? Or do some teacher training? Yippee!

    I anxiously await Facebook event notifications, and open them up –only to often have to suppress a gag at what I see:

         "Mechanics of Flight"
         "Learning to Fly"
         "Spread Your Wings and Fly"
         "Master Flight School Class"

    These are just some of the workshop titles I’ve seen from famous (and not-so-famous) teachers recently. Here’s my main beef with these titles: if I hadn’t been around the yoga scene long enough, I would have no freakin’ clue what they mean. They sound like they have more in common with Top Gun than yoga.

    My other problem is this: I’m curvy.

    Wait—back up. My problem isn’t that I’m curvy; I’m way too fabulous to find my size a problem. My issue is that, as a curvy (or, likely, any size—let’s be honest) yoga student and teacher, there isn’t much I’d like to do less than two to three hours of arm balancing (at least the way these classes imagine arm balancing; give me a good, well-aligned, workin’ it Down Dog any day).

    And when I do feel like giving it a whirl, teachers rarely know how to instruct me. There’s no way in H-E-double hockey sticks I’m going to just “float my legs up” into handstand. And me in Tittibhasana? Puh-leeze. I don’t know what would happen first: my boobs suffocating me to death or my arms simultaneously snapping off.

    P.S. No one floats—it’s not just us curvy girls. Just sayin’.

    About Anna Guest-Jelley

    Anna Guest-Jelley is an advocate for women’s rights by day, a yoga teacher by night, and a puppies’ mama all the time. She is making her way through life with joy—curves and all. Visit her at her website and on Facebook and Twitter.