Conversations I’ve had with people about yoga
By Joslyn Hamilton
I had heard that yoga will cure truly anything that ails you. I wasn’t sure what ailed me, at the time, but I knew that something did.
I started with Bikram yoga. Bikram yogis are particularly fanatical about proselytizing their particular brand of the ancient science of yoga. They will tell you that, by practicing Bikram’s 26 poses every day, you can cure anything — and I mean absolutely ANYTHING eg. cancer, heartbreak, halitosis — by doing the same set of poses every single day in a hot-as-fuck room. Whether your thing is physical, spiritual, psychosomatic, psychological, whatevs, Bikram yoga will fix you. Swear. Bikram yoga is the be-all-end-all medical cure of the universe.
While I was going to Bikram yoga, I fucked up both of my knees so badly (“Lock your knee! Lock your knee!”) that they hurt for over ten years. And after spending hours every day detoxing (eg. sweating profusely) I developed a fun little condition called “interstitial cystitis” where you feel like you have a bladder infection most of the time, but you don’t, so there’s nothing that can be done to treat it. In case you haven’t had a bladder infection in your lifetime, you lucky thing, it basically feels like your bladder is on FIRE. Fun stuff. I drank a gallon of water a day. I saw a bunch of specialists.
Eventually, I moved on to other styles of yoga. Over the years, I practiced Vinyasa, Iyengar, Sivananda, Ashtanga. I even tried a Kundalini class here and there.
Pretty much every style of yoga I tried welcomed me with open arms of the “this is the only real yoga; we’re so glad you finally found us” flavor. (I went through a similar “church is fun” phase and got the same sort of reception there.) The Iyengars will tell you that Iyengar is the only true yoga because it is all about your body’s alignment. Ashtangis will tell you that Ashtanga is the only true yoga because it’s all about the breath. They’ll all tell you that you need to be doing it pretty much every day and all the time, and that yoga is not just about your movement on the mat, but how you conduct yourself in every moment of your life, and that “how you do anything is how you do everything.” It’s a lotta pressure.
I bought into all of these dogmas at one point or another. Eventually, though, I got so tired of practicing yoga — I mean, so, so tired of it — that I woke up one morning and realized, homigod, I don’t actually HAVE TO DO YOGA. I can not do yoga! Like all the other people in the world who don’t do yoga! Who seem to be doing just fine — or at least, not any worse than those of us who do yoga.
This was such a liberating moment for me.
My time opened up, and I began to go hiking instead. Like yoga, hiking is a great way to get in shape, stretch your body, tonify your lungs, and clear your head. I live in Marin County, where there are about 400 perfectly maintained hiking trails within spitting distance of my house. You can hike daily and never do the same trail twice. You can hike alone, or with friends, at your own pace, your own way, every day. In all my years hiking, not once has anyone ever tried to tell me that I should be doing a different kind of hiking or that hiking will save me from the eternal hellfire of damnation. People just don’t get uppity about hiking, for whatever reason. They never tell you that you need to be Hindi to hike. Perhaps I just haven’t found that crowd yet.
Since I stopped practicing yoga, my knees no longer hurt, my neck is relaxed, my jaw unclenched, my bladder lining relatively well-behaved, and that weird little muscle under my shoulder whose name I could never remember has magically chilled out, despite years of bodywork of every caliber never ever helping.
Nevertheless, all these years later, I’m still having conversations with people about yoga. Especially here in Marin, every schmo I come across inquires about my “yoga practice.” Which reminds me of another conversation I had about yoga once. A friend of mine, who was a scholarship-winning soccer player and an all around jock, asked me: “Why do you guys insist on calling it yoga practice? I mean, when’s the game?”
28 Comments !
Leave a Reply
Matthew says:
Almost every physical therapist I have known say that locking your knees is super-stupid if you are putting strain on your legs. Yet Bikram teachers are emphatic about it. I am sorry you got messed up because of that.
Great article. Seems like part of the RY manifesto.
Christian says:
«Why do you guys insist on calling it yoga practice? I mean, when’s the game?»
Precisely.
It’s a poetic license to consider Bikram, Iyengar, Ashtanga and other «styles» as yoga, especially if you know the original source — I mean, Hatha Yoga.
It’s quite easy indeed: read Hatha Yoga Pradipika, Gheranda Samhita and any other ancient scriptures written by the nath monks and compare them to what is being offered in any «studio» in the world.
Leah says:
How beautifully, wonderfully, histerically ironic that you’re sharing the “real” yoga with our dear writer! The one who just went out of her way to describe her disdain for people telling her what the “right” path is!
As she wrote: “Pretty much every style of yoga I tried welcomed me with open arms of the “this is the only real yoga; we’re so glad you finally found us” flavor.”
adan says:
really liked,
“People just don’t get uppity about hiking, for whatever reason. They never tell you that you need to be Hindi to hike”
but LOVED,
“Why do you guys insist on calling it yoga practice? I mean, when’s the game?”
- first time i loved out loud all day
Yogini5 says:
Official Yogini5 Sports Talk to Yoga-Speak Dictionary:
Benched = Water-break and stay off your mat / you can’t leave the hot yoga room
Field Goal = Teacher constructed inversion out of Not-Ready Body and Somehow it Stayed in it
Game Over = Yoga student calls it quits with studio that doesn’t practice asteya and aparigraha it preaches
Good Sport = Receptive student
Practice = Game – if the teacher/studio thinks they are playing one (see Game Over)
Time Out = Child’s Pose (discouraged with certain styles)
Touchdown = Same Not Ready Body miraculously held the pose a month later in center of room
Lucinda Matthews says:
Great article, thanks!
I am studying to be a yoga teacher, but right now I am questioning why. And questioning whether I’m crazy for questioning! But I have soooo many questions, and not many answers.
This site is restoring my sanity.
Ravi says:
“I don’t actually HAVE TO DO YOGA. I can not do yoga! ” You sound like an idiot. And how long did it take you to come up with that?
vanessafiola says:
Re: “You sound like an idiot.”
You sound like a yogi.
Don says:
Holy Jesus, funny and to the point, what a combination!
Don says:
What a nice article, Joslyn! I can totally relate to it, since I started walking about a year ago and love the benefits I’m getting from it. I still go to Yin class, but will probably never go back to any other class again. This must be what happens when you’re done practicing yoga.
Jenifer says:
But didn’t you know that you were supposed to translate “lock the knee” to “lift the thigh so that the knee is stable?”
Yogini5 says:
I once innocently asked my former yoga teacher about mula bandha (I also had a slightly different bladder problem from you, but in the same category, but since I am old, mine has worsened over time … ’nuff said). I need mula bandha.
He started pointing to his crotch and said, “You mean THIS?” Then he started in on a long riff about the fact that I can’t do (or have) mula bandha unless I stop eating all sorts of junk.
I was losing weight with my lettuce binges at the time and was on the Volumetrics diet – I happen to inhabit a body that does not look like the cover of Yoga Journal, however, which belies the large volume of weight I AM keeping off …
… and so, do you have to wonder why I consider myself a Recovering Yogi?!?!
Jenifer says:
oh good lordy! that’s just a heap of nonsense! I grant you, mula bandha is not easy (the “pelvic floor” is really a lot of little intrinsic muscles that are hard to get a feel for), but it’s definitely teachable and has nothing to do with your weight or what you eat! what is wrong with people?
The only issues would be if you have prolapses (uterine or bladder) or redundant colon — you know, pretty rare conditions, but they do exist — which could create a different situation (totally different exercises needed to help relieve the prolapse, and then accessing toward mula bandha).
I wish teachers would, you know, study bodies sometimes.
Yogini5 says:
Well, teachers have to learn how to not let their prejudices get in the way of their teaching. I don’t have a prolapsed bladder, but it is oddly shaped.
I feel sorry for him. I think he actually has to work with a lot of female teachers who won’t get all self mortifying and skinny for him, now. That’s the way it rolls.
Jenifer says:
Yes, that is very true.
I think one of the issues, too, is not just prejudices, but “lore.” There is a lot of “lore” in yoga (it works because it works; we do this because it’s how we do this — example, moon days). And that lore can play right into prejudices.
I remember hearing a man rant on and on about mula bandha and diet once, chastising several men and women in the process, and I finally just had to tell him to shut it. Raw Veganism does not create a better or true or real mula bandha. But, his teacher (who was a rather extreme raw vegan) had told him that the tamasic energies of meat and rajasic energies of cooked foods and spicy foods would kill the energy that we’re trying to draw up sattvically from the earth, and so you must eat and eliminate sattvic foods in order to truly get mula bandha.
I personally think — no matter how much fiber she’s getting — that she’s FOS.
There’s little to no evidence in the traditions of yoga to support her claims, as nearly all of the descriptions of the locks focus on physical and energetic ones — and this is just her new interpretation (extrapolation) based on her dogmatic approach to diet. That is, her evidence fits her conclusion, rather than her conclusions coming from evidence.
So, this guy and I don’t get along, and I have serious issues with body/diet shaming people. It’s not nice, it’s not fair, and quite honestly, it’s not necessary to practice yoga.
Joslyn Hamilton says:
Jenifer, I think you hit the nail on the head with the phrase “yoga lore.” In no other world have I encountered such rampant amateur expertism around every bend. You can’t say you have a belly ache in the yoga world (or in Marin County, where I live) without drowning in a sea of “expert” advice.
eleles says:
I don’t get it. Why couldn’t you practice in moderation, and enjoy the benefits of both yoga and other activities without harming your body? Maybe I’m not understanding the pressures because I’m in Boston, not Marin? I’ve never felt pressured to do too much in yoga class (nor would I push myself if I felt my body was being harmed rather than helped – perhaps this is the one area in my life in which stubbornness is helpful/protective, rather than just a barrier to learning…)?
Yogini5 says:
It’s not just a Marin thing, it’s also a New York City thing.
But I have learned to ease off into my home practice. Look, I have personally alienated all except one, yoga studios within my reach. Ahh, make that all except two (I took community classes only, at the second one … why should I take them up on their New Student Offer and spoil a good thing?)
Some of us have to rely on yoga primarily for their exercise. NONE of us have to rely on studios that have an agenda.
eleles says:
Sounds like I should be very grateful to have found a local studio that’s non-insane so I can learn enough to start a home practice without hurting myself!
For whatever reason, I have found that physical therapy exercises prescribed for my musculoskeletal problems have only helped about 85%, and yoga is the only thing I’ve found that gets me closer to being really fixed and not regressing back into physical pain.
But – I really want to make sure to be able to continue to enjoy the benefits without creating some kind of entirely new problem. For example, it makes me very very nervous hearing about the SI joint injuries advanced yoga practitioners sometimes develop – I have never heard of anyone else having SI problems! So what’s up with that. (Although – there is the theory that people who are already flexible tend to be more likely to choose and stick with a yoga practice, and such people are more likely to have SI joint problems. I don’t think I will ever have to worry about being very flexible
)
Joslyn Hamilton says:
I feel pretty strongly that it’s okay to NOT do yoga. I don’t buy into the whole yogic mentality that yoga makes everyone better, or that yogis are more advanced on their “paths,” or that yoga solves every problem in the known universe. I think it’s perfectly okay and healthy to NOT do yoga. That said, I do practice yoga still. Every few weeks I’ll take a class. And sometimes I nap through a large chunk of that class. Cuz, that’s okay too. I’ve totally let go of the “shoulds.”
linda says:
“I don’t buy into the whole yogic mentality that yoga makes everyone better”
amen.
Dr. New Age Shaman says:
From what I’ve deduced yogis generally are assholes. Narcissistic asswipes in it for the money and the open legs of the girls.
Self knowledge is the only way one can make spiritual growth. See Henry Grimes on Hermeticism and Plato. The yogis my ex-girlfriend follows and fucks are the work go toward the light hacks around, worse in fact than the average phone XXXtian like Jim Baker or Jerry Falwell. In fact if Falwell had trimmed down put a rag on his head and grew a scraggly white beard he’d a probably made millions more.
Who was it Joseph Campbell who said that when one’ s spiritual system dies the seekers look around for another? Let me say like peak oil when it runs out there ain’t no other country to import from and going to India and importing a non-tradition say some bullshit like Yogi Bhajan whole-cloth is spiritually treasonous.
Dr. New Age Shaman says:
“work ” should be “worse”
Jennifer says:
From yoga I’ve learned nonjudgement of myself and others, to let go of shoulds, and the value of slowing down enough to notice and enjoy my life. I can see how some teachers and studios could put off the vibe you describe here, but in my experience it’s definitely not the norm. And I can’t count how many times I hear we’re missing the point if we’re struggling to get into a posture that is painful or where we can’t breathe easily. We learn to notice when we’re going out of ease and stop flogging ourselves for not being up to some imaginary standard, and just relax.
With that said, Bikram is cray cray.
Joslyn Hamilton says:
Ha! Yes, Bikram is cray. Although, all my flippant ranting aside, it served its purpose in my life at the time. I do think a lot of the points you make are true about yoga. I just don’t think the downside gets enough play. We put yoga on a pedestal. Anything that gets put on a pedestal ends up getting knocked down!
dave says:
This sounds like one of those pharmaceutical commercials, where some pill is supposed to cure you’re, let’s say heartburn, but causes a whole other slew of ailments. And then you end up taking all these other pills to cure all the new ailments you’ve earned from the original pill popping. so sad. They never “prescribe” simply changing your diet and self education.
Yoga practice (life is the game, duh) should fit the individual, rather than bulldozing a set of postures to any and everyone.
And why does everyone insist on calling themselves yogi’s and yogini’s (recovering or otherwise, whatever). If they’ve studied and practice, and adhere to the teachings of yoga, then surely they know how hard in a single lifetime it is to become and be a yogi.
Christian O'Neil says:
I hear you sister. Yoga is an interesting way for me to get some exercise. That’s it. If someone wants to dedicate their life to yoga I don’t have a problem with it. That’s not me though.
I want to see clearly though it looks like I am going to have to take myself there. Well worn paths like asana and pranayama and even meditation don’t do it for me. They don’t hold my attention and I’m tired of trying to force the issue.
This mind or heart or spirit or whatever the fuck you want to call it knows what it’s doing. It’s not my job to save myself and yet “being saved” (“waking up”, “enlightenment”- whatever) still happens.
Joslyn Hamilton says:
Amen. I love that we’re all walking our own goddamn path in this world. I believe everyone should be allowed to fly their own flag — freak or otherwise — without being told they’re doing it “right” or “wrong.” With the exception of serial killers, obvi.