Free, like me

Published on February 28, 2011 by      Print
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By Vanessa Florence

Well, your first mistake is you love a good steak.

Second, you care about your hair.
Your fruit is not organic – your sex is not tantric.
Yeah, you’ve got some things to change, until you’re free
like me.

Well, I can clear negative energy from your chakras,
It’ll only cost you 200 dollars.
Whoa, your third eye is really blocked.
Yeah, you’ve got some work to do, until you’re free
like me.

I can help you with your fear of intimacy,
Just take your clothes off and come with me.
You’ve never heard of a cuddle puddle?
Wow, You’ve got a lot to learn.
Until you’re free
like me.

Express yourself man!
No, not like THAT!
Thank God, I’m here to help you out.
Yeah, I transcended my ego lifetimes ago,
But you’ve still got some karmas to burn though, you know -

Until you’re free.
Like me.

About Vanessa Florence

Vanessa Florence is a writer, coach and events creat-ress from Melbourne Australia. She is un-apologetically turned on by sex, spirituality, life, passion and truth. Read her blog!


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  1. Matthew says:

    I think this needs to be made into an illustrated book.

  2. StaticInvasion says:

    When I stopped laughing and realized there are people in this world who really feel this way, I almost stabbed my finger through my throat.

  3. Joslyn Hamilton says:

    Super funny, and also, sadly true. I can think of plenty of people who have this exact attitude right here in Marin County!

  4. vanessafiola says:

    I love your creative expression of Recovering Yogi. Keep it up!

  5. Quinn W says:

    This is Great Vanessa! By reading your bio, I think I’m going to like your other writing as well, see you in the blog world :)

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