Seriously, WTF?

Published on March 7, 2013 by      Print
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By Kris Nelson

I was writing my to-do list this morning. I always start with the day and date just like this: Tuesday, February 25, 2013. And it hit me. Hard. Seriously, what the fuck? It’s 2013. It was shocking! I know this is old news to most of you, but for me it meant finally accepting something that I have been avoiding for two months: It’s over. All of it.

Buying a lottery ticket is a favorite pastime. I don’t buy them because I think I’ll win. That’s not likely. In fact, I have a better chance of surviving an airline ocean crash landing, then being attacked by a shark, and then being struck by lightning than I do of winning the lottery. I buy the tickets because it provides me with hours of fantastical, imaginative entertainment. The things I will buy, the places I will go, and the stuff that I’ll do: it’s amazing! You would not believe my post-lottery-win life. If you saw my post-lottery-win life you would cry.

That was 2012 to me, but so much more. 2012 was a massive, universal, larger-than-a-stupid-little-California-state-lottery-ticket TICKET. 2012 was the final lottery. And now it’s gone.

It was going to be amazing.

Scenario Number One: Global weather and seismic disasters. Financial and governmental crises like we have never seen. The electricity stops working, like in that show on NBC. Civilization comes to a standstill. There is a zombie apocalypse, like that show on AMC. Humanity splits apart—fighting zombies without any electricity is hard. People can only try to survive. They are scared, hungry, tired, lost, on the verge of losing everything that makes them human, regressing to pre-Neanderthal tendencies. But not me! This is my time to shine. I stand up, like a Jesus/Val Kilmer type, and lead the people, all people. I am wise. Profound. Strong. And Jewish, like Jesus and Val Kilmer.

Scenario Number Two: Humanity magically and wonderfully enters into an era of enlightenment. We all go to bed on December 21st, 2012 and wake-up like Jesus/Val Kilmer on December 22nd. We’re wonderfully, effortlessly kind, humble, wise, relaxed, creative, brilliant, soft, strong, peaceful and bright. We’re also tan and toned. We’re beautiful. The constructs of past philosophies, ideologies, governments, religions and economies collapse. This is awesome. This is exactly what we want. We cheer! Everything falls apart and together at the same time. And I knew this would happen. I am prepared for it. I publish a manifesto: “Interfacing Consciousness In Liberated Constructs.” I am a prophet philosopher king. Daisies and bunnies forever.

But I woke up on December 21st, 2012 to nothing except my alarm and the urgent need to get to work. I must say, the energy did feel amazing. In retrospect, however, it’s probably safe to say that I was still intoxicated from the night before. I waited all day, and just as my intoxicated glee waned to a professional hangover, my excitement evaporated to mild disappointment. I did what I do best and avoided the emotion. I went to bed, and again nothing was different on December 22, 2012. I did this for more than two months. There were glimmers of hope—a giant storm called Nemo, a meteorite slamming into Russia (haha, Russia!), and a crazy Rambo running around Southern California on a killing spree. Perhaps the Mayans missed it by a few days? Forecasting into the future isn’t easy, especially thousands of years ago when forecasting a couple of thousand years forward, without the assistance of computers and modern math. Maybe they screwed it up a bit? Maybe it’s still happening!

But today I realize for sure: everything is still the same. Nothing is going to happen.

I am still me, and reality is still real. Things are sometimes hard. Things sometimes work out. I have to work at not being an asshole. I have to work at my relationships. I have to work at my work. I have to work at being with myself. I have to work to not feel that I am in the process of regressing and might one day end up like the homeless man that stands in front of my office every day yelling “Suck it dry!” over and over. Change and growth do not come easily. Success does not come naturally. Effort is required. Patience is required. And instead of waking up to everything falling apart (Scenario Number One) or everything being magically awesome (Scenario Number Two), or even waking up to winning the lottery, I wake up to myself and reality to live another day, to fight a little harder, and to accept myself a little more.

For generations in the perceivable past, we humans have always believed that there is an impending doom/salvation. We seem to be wired to believe in something better/worse. And now there is nothing on the horizon. There is no impending end. There is no impending evolution. That was it, and it’s over. I am left with myself and reality and the effort that I give both. And without the distraction of impending death/evolution, I’ll get to spend some time and effort and perhaps grow just a bit. Just a little bit.

Kris NelsonAbout Kris Nelson

Kris Nelson is founder and principal at Krama Consulting and Development, Inc. Kris leads workshops internationally on spirituality for the modern world. He lives in Los Angeles where he can be found teaching yoga in jeans to Snoop Dogg.

Find Kris on Twitter.

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  1. Alethia says:

    Hallelujah. Amen. And, all sorts of praise. High fives on this one, it’s top!

  2. Laurel says:

    Love the suck it dry guy. I wonder if he’s talking about booze or humans and the earth. Amazing article, last paragraph ingenious. :)

  3. Boodiba says:

    Well, there’s always death to look forward to…

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