The goddess complex
By Maynard De la Paz
Humankind throughout history has devised various methods and ideologies to help make sense of our existence. Philosophy, religion, politics… all have played roles in our development as a civilization. But the most sinister influence of all is an area of the human psyche called “the ego.” And this is where the delusion of comparing oneself to divinity comes from.
There have been many examples of this behavior throughout history — both recent and ancient. King Darius of Persia, and later his son Xerxes, built the Persian empire under the premise that they were both “gods in the flesh.” More recently, Emperor Hirohito, during World War II, gave rebirth to the ancient Shinto belief that the emperor was God. So, following his command was akin to following the word of God.
Bu this ego phenomenon does not just apply to those in positions of power. I work at a natural foods store (rhymes with “Old Dudes”) and I get to marvel at this spectacle almost daily among the general populace.
Allow me to describe the signs of what my friend Ryan coined “the goddess complex.” Besides the fact that she will come right out and call herself such, here’s how you can recognize the goddess among us:
Her 1991 Toyota Camry is littered with bumper stickers that say things like “goddess on the loose.” Really? Wouldn’t a goddess be riding a flaming chariot pulled by a winged serpent or something?- She reeks of essential oils.
- She wears things that jingle around her feet. Kind of amusing but highly annoying after she’s been pacing the yogurt aisle for an hour.
- She tells you that her ability to bear a child makes her divine. (Anyone who has ever heard the curses come out of my grandmother’s mouth will put that idea to rest.)
- Often she is a yoga practitioner—but not the type that goes to class in yoga pants. Instead, she is the type that will spontaneously burst into a yoga pose anywhere, like in line at the bulk foods section when you are trying to get some pistachios.
- She brews her own kombucha, and tells you that “blessed beings” helped her create it. (Actually, for the record, its yeast and gluconacetobacter.)
- She is frequently accompanied by her consort, an emaciated and emasculated male who eats only seeds. Usually he lives in fear of doing something overly masculine that would anger her and draw the yogic wrath.
- And my favorite of all… drumroll please!… the HAIRY ARMPITS.
My advice, let’s all get off our divine high horses before Freya or Kali show up and singe us all to ash!
About Maynard De la Paz
Maynard is a transplanted Southerner living at ground zero goddess central: Mill Valley, California. He is a guitarist, arnisador, champagne enthusiast and apprentice pit master with a flair for catching bass and a solid plan for the zombie invasion.
26 Comments !
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Twisted Yoga Sister says:
I checked, no “Goddess Complex” here! Thank you for the refreshing, humorous article!
Matthew says:
YES. Number 7 killed me. Autotheism is rampant here in LA.
Libby says:
At my local “Old Dudes”… the goddesses are of a more mature nature…. and they drive range rovers and BMW’s… they show up usually in tennis skirts. This could be because of the fact that I live in a college town, and only the wealthy retired set can afford to shop there. All my grungy yoga friends make do with the farmer’s market and Aldis.
Aphrodite says:
Yes, I have seen this as well. It’s overboard and ridiculous. Not all women exploring their spirituality are like this, fortunately.
It’s another sign of the confusion of our times and people grasping for something, anything…to help them define who/what they are.
Thanks for the humor. -A.
Erik says:
Hang on. Is this supposed to be ironic – or did we just get lucky?
Aphrodite says:
Well…it is ironic…considering my chosen persona. But my journey is about love…and this has to do with inner growth and development. And not the external, in-your-face “I’m a goddess” type of display.
Elrond says:
HAHAHA. You’re a godess, but you’re more enlightened that those other godesses, right? Oh, please spare me.
C init says:
Says the elf.
Aicha2323 says:
Well done, all, says the she-demon. Oh, the delicious irony!
Juliet says:
Hilarious! Yes, “the Blessed Beings helped her create it.” I know a few of those. Thank you for keeping perspective.
The Goddess Complex « Aphrodite's Musings says:
[...] Original post here. [...]
Crescence Krueger says:
Maynard, in a light piece of writing you’ve actually touched on the fundamental spiritual misunderstanding that allows people to abuse others through declarations of extraordinary divinity: the idea that spirit is separate from ordinary life and experience. To recognize the sacredness of ALL life, including your own, isn’t an inflation of the ego, but a realization of the heart that makes the necessity of kindness and compassion obvious.
Your grandmother swearing in the pain of giving birth isn’t proof of her profanity but evidence that ordinary women do what religion acknowledges only God does, bring spirit into form. We are all divine. This was the message of U.G. Krishnamurti (and now Mark Whitwell, and me and many other teachers who are trying to make clear what Yoga actually is), a great Yogi recognized as a Jivamukti, who rejected the concept of the Enlightened One. He said it was simply a mechanism to wield power over others. We can see this dynamic playing out in studios and organizations throughout the world still. The Kali in all of us should rise up in response.
Kate says:
Hmmm….you sound a little misogynistic.
Matthew says:
That’s absurd. I don’t speak for the author, but I do speak for men who are casually accused of misogyny for simply pointing out something they dislike about a woman:
To whit,
1) it’s a humor piece
2) if the shoe fits…
3) would you have felt the same were it written by a woman?
I know literally dozens of women who abhor this type of person the author is writing about. Does that make them anti-women too?
He was writing about what he observes, first-hand, on a daily basis at his place of work. You are drawing a false equivalency from his being irked by some particular women to him hating (that is the definition of misogyny) all women, which is actually far worse than any teasing he is doing here.
linda says:
I’d like to see someone write about the stereotype of the SNAG — Spiritual New Age Guy. Tribal tattoo around the bicep and hemp pants, anyone?
Maynard says:
I agree full on!
Enjoy this in the meantime
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQUUFg6p0aE
C init says:
This was funny indeed….as are the follow up comments. I personally dislike the whole goddess thing on some level, because the implication is there that being human is not enough. Or maybe it’s because of what you just wrote that I’ve always resisted goddess culture….I shave my pits daily.
Nicole says:
Eats only seeds! So funny.
Good work!!!!
Laurie Anne Santos says:
Rock on Maynard for being so straight-up and willing to knock some of the goddesses of their pedestal. I see from some of the comments above, some of the “goddesses” just didn’t get it. As a female, I find highly annoying when women won’t get off their divine high-horse as you put it. Lighten up ladies and get over yourselves. We don’t have to be all that deep all the time. Years ago, I got into the New Age/Ancient Wisdom spiritual side of things and there were several things that radically transformed in my life as a result; but the one thing that plagues me and outright frustrates me is the narcissism along with this righteousness that many folks take on once they’ve entered the world of Goddess. The entitlement factor’s not attractive and as far I know, if you’re enlightened then you don’t snub your nose down at others and believe you’re better than. Just sayin’. Rant over.
Julia says:
What’s your plan for a Zombie invasion? I don’t have one yet and I’d love some ideas.
Maynard says:
Everything you need to know is highly detailed, in Max Brook’s “Zombie Survival Guide”
I’d also recommend anything by Tom Brown.
Close quarter combat is also a good essential. Just don’t bit.
Maynard says:
get bit, that is!
arthur says:
ladies, shave your pits
Maria Long says:
I am sort of in awe of how comfortable you are demanding that someone shave a part of their anatomy simply because you prefer it that way. I prefer to shave my armpits but definitely do not have the balls to require it of others. I guess it must feel like who gets assigned to be the girl in prison, and ” she” has to look the part. I never thought a flake, male or female could unravel your sense of law and order. I know, I know it’s a humor piece , that ended up making me feel a tad sorry for the scapegoat. I guess your ” recovery” is growing kind of slow or I should have had two gasses instead of three.
Elizabeth says:
Loved the bit about the emasculated male, dude stand up. Come to think about it new age guys in general look up the word emasculated and stop apologising for being men.
Mark A. Kelley says:
It has been my experience that having the capacity to give birth justifies the perspective of Goddess to so many, when merely being the vessel in which we arrive is closer to the truth.