Warning: you might not want to read this site if….
You might not want to read the collection of Recovering Yogi confessions if you are at all attached to your naïve and idealistic perception of the yoga world.
If you think that “yoga” is the same thing as “the yoga scene” and you have any glimmer of a hope that your local yoga studio is going to be your sanctuary and your yoga “guru” your salvation.
If you think it’s inconceivable or even unlikely that your favorite yoga teacher is sleeping with his/her students, or if you are capable of acknowledging this might be true but chalk it up to your teacher’s authentic, flawed “realness” as a human being.
If you believe in manifesting abundance. Or manifesting anything. In general.
If you think Yoga Journal is a really deep read and you would actually quote the Yoga Sutras.
If you think yoga studios exist sheerly for the good of mankind and somehow magically exist outside of the capitalist system we in the West live in.
If you think your yoga is better than their yoga. If you think your teaching style is the best one. If you think that all yogis are created equal, but some are more equal than others.
If you like to tell other people what to do, think, believe, or feel. This includes telling people how often, or for how long they need to practice.
If you pride yourself on your vegetarianism/veganism/rawism/any-ism and fervently believe the world would be a better place if everyone believed and practiced your ism and only your ism.
If you think that anyone at a party wants to hear about the latest yoga workshop you attended.
If you think that going to a teacher training or ten entitles you to diagnose anything other than a student’s foot placement.
If you have a problem with swearing.
In other words, if you like your yoga bubble, by all means, stay in it! This site is not for the feint of heart.
However, if you are in spiritual recovery, so to speak, from the world of vacuous, meaningless yoga-speak and narcissistic yogis and yoginis, welcome to Recovering Yogi. You are home.
39 Comments !
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linda says:
personally I’m over the Love and Lite Stepford Yoga Wives…..
Amelia Catone says:
my name is amelia catone (not shakti, thanks kimberly) and i approve of this manifesto (that’s not actually trying to ‘manifest’ anything). good one!
FaerieRebecca says:
If you can’t laugh at yourself when you fall over.
If you think yoga is a competition for who is stretchier, more limber, thinner, has the best “yoga butt,” etc.
Don says:
If you can’t distinguish humor, satire and self-deprecation from mean-spirited vindictiveness.
Leslie says:
You got that right, Don.
Mr. Slippers says:
I read Recovering Yogi solely because the Recovering Yogi gals are wicked hot. Well not “solely”. Maybe not.
recoveringyogi says:
Tell us more, Mister Slippers! We love compliments.
Emily says:
This is why I love this blog.
EcoYogini says:
bahahaha. my favourite:
If you think yoga studios exist sheerly for the good of mankind and somehow magically exist outside of the capitalist system we in the West live in.
LOVE this.
Ang says:
My spiritual tramp stamp that shows just above my $125 low rise yoga pants (they cost more because you can use them for hot yoga too) and I LOVE your site!
Matthew says:
Popping yoga bubbles, taking names.
joe k says:
As you point out unfortunately that the crazy world outside a yoga studio is the same as inside( well almost) 90% of the people walking around this world would have improved health, better control over mind body and spirit! That’s what yoga was designed to do or do you have some other ideas on what it was designed to do! The unfortunate thing is the week sheep look to the guru’s of money not the guru’s of the highest teachings this goes again inside and outside a yoga studio. If your guru sucks, chances are you are being directed to develop your own guru, the one inside you!
An entertaining read all the same yogini’s…Joe
Yogini5 says:
Oh, I still want to read this site. Even though I am now down to only one (1) yoga teacher, after I have alienated all of them with what I thought was my approach to yoga [as opposed to how they want to project and protect their image(s)].
This one remaining teacher works out of a studio. By definition, that is a “yoga scene” to me.
Cathy L says:
I am going on 60, and have finally realized that despite my YTT, and a degree in Occupational Therapy, I cannot be telling anyone what to do and who to be. shit, I don’t eve listen to myself half the time…Thanks for keeping it “real”.
Lisa Clibon says:
Great piece!
You may not want to read this site if you read about any character who resembles yourself and you can’t laugh.
cursingyogi says:
Ha! a place where i belong. loved every part of it. Now i don’t feel so bad about still being on antidepressants, coffee, & swearing yoga practitioner.
Yogini5 says:
I hardly every curse, but that had more to do with my upbringing … only very, very slightly to do with being hypereducated; and absolutely NOTHING to do with any involvement I ever had in “organized yoga” (phraseology purposely similar to “organized religion” and similarly hypocritical …)
Liska says:
… or if you think yogis have to forego sarcasm in order to get into lotus.
Shawn says:
Is this supposed be funny? I think the author sounds a bit jaded. It would be nice if at the end you touched upon some aspect of humanity that I could connect to deeply.
*phew* Just had to get that out of my system.
Did you write this in a cabin in Idaho? Should I be expecting a plain brown package from you in the mail? Cuz I have one for you, just waiting for the right time to mail it.
janafish says:
Yogateacher and I’ll try to make my students take that piece of advise!
Tomasz Goetel says:
This is the shit!!!! Your shit is my kinda shit. Let’s all keep the Light on, shiiiiit! Now, I’ll go back to reading more shit
Michelle says:
I still love yoga!!! and i love teaching it.
I do often wonder if what i’m doing is wrong since everyone else stopped drinking caffeine, liquor, swearing, and started eating raw food. I let people laugh, it’s fun to somersault over when trying bakasana… Yoga can do so much.. but so can just learning to be aware of your body. Is it weird that I also teach women to dance on poles?
i’m digging your site!!!
Yogini5 says:
No, it is not weird. The way yoga is today, and the kind of students it seems to attract … pole dancing is the next yoga …
vanessafiola says:
True story: When I first moved to LA I took pole dancing classes at S-Factor and was convinced that there was a way to teach a workshop on yoga and pole dancing, since there was a fair amount of similarity between asana and the, umm, moves. During this time, I was assisting my teacher at Yoga Journal – San Francisco and taught all of the other (female) assistants some of the things that I’d learned. I ended up dropping it because a) the shoes were stupid and b) I didn’t like the underlying message. (Maybe it was just that studio??) That said, it was a lot of fun.
So there you have it.
beka says:
I love this. What IS the correct response when a student asks you to diagnose and treat their injuries/ailments/mental disorders? The polite smile and suggestion to visit their doctor only prompts them more. Ack.
Leena says:
This is Simply Awesome!
leigh ann says:
fucking brilliant. i am a recovering yogi and i worship this website!!! found yoga in college, absolutely fell in love. practiced daily for years with two amazing teachers, went to kripalu for some real soul WORK. started teaching, got certified, ran my own space for a while, but all the while struggling with who i was vs. who i thought the yoga world thought i should be. after one too many encounters and experiences with ridiculous teachers, selfish, greedy studio owners, wives of super star teachers and over priced workshops and YTTs i said fuck it and walked. some of the best experiences i’ve had to date have been free. my stay at kripalu, my 10 day Vipassana sit being at the top of that list.
Mara says:
@leigh ann: totally agree. And yes, Vipasanna is my list-topper. Nothing clears out the mental crap and stories and bull-shit like sitting with our neurotic selves in silence for ten days…. And not needing to pay some “guru” $3000 for it.
Mara says:
God damn I love this site…. Om shanti, bitches!
; )
bendybyatch says:
you forgot to exclude people who have changed their names to:
“Dharma”, “Nirvana” “Prayer”, Raghunthnasshabhagavandastic”
(aka “Julie”, “Carl”, “Michelle”, and “Steve”)
Sarah Meno says:
At least I’m not the only one.
Rebekah says:
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
michael blossom says:
if you think its just a coincidence that many of the other people who like yoga so much are of a similar race and socioeconomic background as you are.
if you think commercial/corporate yoga is not the same bunch of bs repackaged into something even more ego-gratifying- “spirituality”! (at least in the eighties fitness was kitschy- can I get shout out for jazzercise and leg warmers? hell yes!)
Dan Endy says:
I am HOME. I’ve been in different religious communities with fake people who suck but now I’m home. I can breathe again and not have to “hold the line.” Thanks for being here. Just started yoga about 6 months ago and definitely have run imto all the people you mentioned. The stereotypes don’t work nor do their superstar/rock star personas. Fuck.
Ter says:
Whoah! I’m no the only one who wants to punch someone when they imply that children in Taiwan are getting prostituted because they have a “scarcity” mentality. I’ve recently been looking into getting a teacher certification (yoga) because I love what it does for me as far as alleviating physical pain like nothing else. But this is exactly what I’ve been concerned about. I’ve seen so much hypocrisy in the name of “spirituality” … damn. I’d hoped that somewhere, somehow, I could help people with chronic pain without being berated for eating dairy.
kitschywoman says:
Fuck, yes! You had me at “swearing.” <3 I'm already an anathema in yoga class, as I practice as a counterpart to my speed skating. Too much flexibility will kill my joints, thankyouverymuch. And, no, I'm not going to go for that leg bind. My thighs are twice the size of yours, and I'm not about to blow out a knee trying to forsake power for flexibility. It's a delicate balancing act, my friends. And having to hold my potty mouth makes it that much worse.
Puce says:
Just starting Yoga in a very nice club where they care about me being overweight and that’s good. What is annoying are the yogi “friends” I have that are now “Hey, since you have started yoga, come with us to meditation retreat during your only 14 days of holiday! Don’t spend it with your boyfriend, he does not understand you” (roughly…) or “Now, you should stop eating meat. I don’t care if you love it, you have to”.
I am still crazy, I am still swearing and I don’t intend to stop yet. Thanks for your refreshing website!
Puce says:
Of course, I forgot the most important word in my first sentence. “where they DON’T care about me being overweight”… Well, they just care about me, not about my weight.
Yelba Zoe says:
I love you guys like I love atheists!